Asbestblog

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"This is no time to make new enemies."

(Voltaire, when asked on his deathbed to forswear Satan.)

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Yesterday in the Süddeutsche Zeitung; originally from the International Herald Tribune.

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Two guys sit in a pub together when one turns to the other and says "I fucked your mum last night. we did everything. I fucked her doggy, missionary and reverse cowgirl, then I licked her bumhole while she fingered mine, then she gave me a tit wank whilst sucking my cock and I spunked all over her face."

The other guy puts down his pint and says. "Lets go home dad, i think you've had enough."

From a fable by Jean de Condé, paraphrased from Barbara Tuchman's, A Distant Mirror.

Queen: Sir, have you fathered any children?

Knight: No my lady, I have not.

Queen: Indeed, you do not have the look of a man who could please his mistress when he held her in his arms, for your beard is little more than the kind of fuzz that ladies have in certain places. I do not doubt your word, for it is easy to judge from the state of the hay whether the pitchfork is any good.

Knight: Lady, answer me without deceit, is there any hair between your legs?

Queen: None at all.

Knight: Indeed I do believe you, for grass does not grow on a well-beaten path.