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Glücklich

Ich komme, ich weiß nicht woher,
ich bin, ich weiß nicht was,
ich gehe, ich weiß nicht wohin,
mich wundert's, dass ich so glücklich bin.

Football world cup

This World Cup is working out like WW2 - France has forfeited, the USA turned up late, and England is left to fight the Germans!

(just read somewhere on the internet)

Choose life

Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a three-piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourself.

Choose your future.

Choose life.

(by John Hodge)

Big city lawyer

A big city lawyer went duck hunting out in the country. He'd be out since the crack of dawn and hadn't seen a thing. Finally he sees a solitary duck. He quickly takes aim and drops the duck, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence to collect the duck, a big, burly good ole' boy drives up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.

The lawyer replied, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field. Now I'm going in to retrieve it."

The country boy looked the lawyer in the eyes and stated firmly, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."

The lawyer huffed angrily, "I've been out here all damn day and haven't seen a thing. I finally see this duck, shoot it, and now I'm going to get it."

The country boy smiled. "You're not getting this duck. But I tell you what, I'm a reasonable man. We'll settle this disagreement the country way."

The lawyer asked, "What's the country way?"

The country boy answered, "Well, we take turns kicking each other in the balls, and the first person to give up wins."

By this time the city guy was furious. "Fine, let's do this!"

"Well, since it is my property, I get to go first." said the farmer. He walked up to the city guy and just nailed him in the nuts. The city guy rolls around on the ground for about fifteen minutes in pure agony.

The city guy summons every bit of his will, wipes away the tears in his eyes, and manages to get to his feet. "Okay you country bumpkin, now it's my turn."

The country boy looked at the city guy and said, "Aww, you can have the duck."

Future giant

I am going to become an uncle in autumn. This shirt will be the welcome present for my nephew. (The pen to the left is supposed to give an idea of the size of the shirt.)

Idumae

And am I born to die?
And lay this body down?
And as my trembling spirits fly
Into a world unknown

A land of deeper shade
Unpierced by human thought
The dreary region of the dead
Where all things are forgot

Soon as from earth I go
What will become of me?
Eternal happiness or woe
Must then my fortune be

Waked by the trumpet`s sound
I from my grave shall rise
And see the Judge with glory crowned
And see the flaming skies

(David Tibet, Current 93)

Anekdote

Der alte Henry Ford kommt in Chicago ins Hotel und bittet um das billigste Zimmer. Als der Rezeptionschef das hört, sagt er verwundert: "Aber natürlich, Sir, kein Problem. Nur... ich hätte da eine Frage, wenn Sie gestatten." "Bitte?" Henry Ford hebt die Augenbrauen. "Äh... Sie haben um das billigste Zimmer gebeten... äh... Wenn Ihr Sohn bei uns absteigt, Sir, nimmt er aber immer die teuerste Suite." "Das ist auch kein Wunder", meint Henry Ford, "der hat ja auch einen reichen Vater. Ich nicht."

(aus "Der Geist in der Münze" - Ralph Tegtmeier)

Herz am falschen Ort

"Ach, ich trage mein Herz mit mir herum wie ein nördliches Land den Keim einer Südfrucht. Es treibt und treibt, und es kann nicht reifen." (Heinrich von Kleist)

Cleavage season

Springtime is on its way and the cleavage season starts... I just read this great quote:

"That's how cleavage works. It's not a smart bomb, it's not a laser-guided weapon. You might hit your target, but there's also going to be a lot of collateral damage. That's the way it goes. You might hit the guy in the Porsche, you might also hit the guy with one tooth riding the bus, and you gotta accept it." (Greg Giraldo)

Beauty

Beauty is nothing other than the promise of happiness. (Stendhal)

"Flying at night" by Ted Kooser

Above us, stars. Beneath us, constellations.
Five billions miles away, a galaxy dies
like a snowflake falling on water. Below us,
some farmer, feeling the chill of that distant death,
snaps on his yard light, drawing his sheds and barn
back into the little system of his care.
All night, the cities, like shimmering novas,
tug with bright streets at lonely lights like his.