Skip to content

Lie detector

"To possess a penis is to be chained to a madman." (Sophocles)

A joke

Two cowboys, Bill and Joe, are riding their horses through the prairie. Joe says "Bill, what happens when we die?" Bill says "Well Joe, do you know about the circle of life?" "I reckon I don't" says Joe. "Let me tell you." Says Bill. "So say an Indian rides by right now and shoots an arrow through your skull. And you fall off your horse, dead as a door-nail before you hit the ground. Your body starts decomposing and a bunch of maggots come out of the ground and eat your flesh. Now all the leftover nutrients from your body and the holes the maggots left in the earth are a perfect spot for grass to grow. So an extra nice heavy patch of grass grows in that spot. And then a buffalo comes over and eats this nice patch of grass. And then the buffalo has to take a massive dump. Then I ride by and see the pile of buffalo shit, and say 'Joe! You haven't changed a bit!'"

(source)

A joke

A Muslim was sitting next to Paddy on a plane. Paddy ordered a whiskey. The stewardess asked the Muslim if he'd like a drink. He replied in disgust "I'd rather be raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips!" Paddy handed his drink back and said "Me too, I didn't know we had a choice!"

(source)

Pech beim Denken

"Ich bin nicht doof, ich hab nur Pech beim Denken."