So a sailor walks onto a ship the captain grabs him by the shoulder and says "Welcome to my ship! We have everything a man could want! Food when you're hungry, water when you're thirsty, and.....whenever you get a "need" just stick it in the hole of the barrel below-deck every Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday,Saturday, and Sunday! The sailor asks "Well, what about Wednesday?" "That's your day to get in the barrel!"
What do you call a condom within a condom?
Two hookers are working the corner one night and one hooker turns to
the other as she inhales deeply and says, "Tonight's gonna be a good
night. I can smell the dick in the air.".
The other hooker replies with: "Oh, sorry. I just burped.".