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What about Wednesday?

So a sailor walks onto a ship the captain grabs him by the shoulder and says "Welcome to my ship! We have everything a man could want! Food when you're hungry, water when you're thirsty, and.....whenever you get a "need" just stick it in the hole of the barrel below-deck every Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday,Saturday, and Sunday! The sailor asks "Well, what about Wednesday?" "That's your day to get in the barrel!"

Two hookers

Two hookers are working the corner one night and one hooker turns to the other as she inhales deeply and says, "Tonight's gonna be a good night. I can smell the dick in the air.". The other hooker replies with: "Oh, sorry. I just burped.".