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Knight and vassal

Posted by Bas on

A knight is leaving his castle with his little army of men for the war. He turns to the vassal nominated to keep the castle safe : "In addition to my castle, you will keep my wife's honour, this is the key to her chastity belt, I trust you, now I should leave to fight for the king!" Ten minutes later, as the troop ride in silence, they hear a noise from behind. They halt and see the vassal running with the key in his hand. As he reaches the knight, he says, out of breath: "Sir, sir, it's not the right one!"

Hard and hairy

Posted by Bas on

What's hard and hairy and sticks out of your pyjamas at night?

Your head.

Capacitor and Inductor

Posted by Bas on

One evening, with his charge at full capacity, Micro Farad decided to get a cute coil to discharge him. He went to the Magnet Bar to pick up a chip called Millie Amp. He caught her out back trying self induction; fortunately, she had not damaged her solenoid. The two took off on his megacycle and rode across the Wheatstone Bridge into a magnetic field, next to a flowing current, to watch the sine waves.

Micro Farad was very much stimulated by Millie's characteristic curve. Being attractive himself, he soon had her field fully excited. He set her on the ground potential, raised his frequency, lowered her resistance, and pulled out his high voltage probe. When he inserted it in parallel, he short-circuited her shunt. Fully excited, Millie cried out, "ohm, ohm, give me mho". As he increased his tube to maximum output, her coil vibrated from the current flow. It did not take long for her shunt to reach maximum heat. Now with the excessive current shortening her shunt, Micro's capacity rapidly discharged - every electron was drained off. But that was not the end of it. Indeed, they fluxed all night, tried various connections and hookings until his bar magnet weakened, and he could no longer generate enough voltage to sustain his collapsing field. With his battery fully discharged, Micro was unable to excite his tickler, so they went home. A few weeks later, they were merged forever and oscillated happily ever after.

(source)