Skip to content

A little rabbit

A little rabbit is running happily through the forest when he stumbles upon a giraffe rolling a joint.

The rabbit looks at the giraffe and says, "Giraffe my friend, why do you do this? Come. Run with me through the forest! You'll feel so much better!"

The giraffe looks at him, looks at the joint, tosses it and goes off running with the rabbit. Then they come across an elephant doing coke.

So the rabbit again says, "Elephant my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health. Come. Run with us through the pretty forest, you'll see, you'll feel so good!"

The elephant looks at them, looks at his razor, mirror and coke, then tosses them and starts running with the rabbit and giraffe. The three animals then come across a lion about to shoot up.

"Lion my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health! Come. Run with us through the beautiful forest and you'll feel so good!" The lion looks at him, puts down his needle, and mauls the rabbit.

The giraffe and elephant watch in horror and look at him and ask, "Lion, why did you do this? He was merely trying to help you."

The lion answers, "That little bastard! He makes me run around the forest like a fucking idiot every time he's on ecstasy!"

8 Hobbits

What do you call 8 hobbits?

A hobbyte.

A guy looks in the mirror

A guy looks in the mirror & says "hunny why do I get hard when I see myself?"

She says "cause even your dick thinks you're a pussy".

A programmer's joke

A woman asks her husband, a programmer, to go shopping.

Dear, please, go to the nearby grocery store to buy some bread. Also, if they have eggs, buy 6.

OK, hun.

Twenty minutes later the husband comes back bringing 6 loaves of bread.

His wife is flabbergasted.

Dear, why on earth did you buy 6 loaves of bread?

They had eggs.